Now that you have read about Abraham Lincoln and Christopher Columbus’ Sephardic heritage, you might wonder how one would know if they were a member of this hidden race. I am using the word race because a DNA Test can determine a persons haplogroup. If you are a Spanish speaker - have a last name associated with those killed by the Inquisition, or your last name was found on the tombstones in a Jewish cemetery in Spain, you discovered that your last name was changed or a letter dropped, or your family has either artifacts or an oral history, your haplogroup might link you with this Jewish population. This scientific way to determine ones heritage cost about $150.
If you are wondering if oral history is valid, I will cite two instances where that history was validated.
1. Janet Jacobs Liebmans thesis, “Hidden Heritage-The Legacy of the Crypto-Jews,” published by Berkeley: University of California Press, 2002, where the author describes her visits to those in the Southwestern United States who shared oral history and brought out artifacts that speak of Sephardic Jewish origins.
2. The Smithsonian Magazine article published in October 2008 called “The 'Secret Jews' of San Luis Valley,” reported that several oncologists who meet a few times a year to discuss unusual cases discovered that there was a valley where early onset breast cancer had been occurring from generation to generation. They studied the DNA, concluded that their patients where Jewish, and brought 200 families together to share this fact. Many believed what the doctors said because of things they had seen and heard. Others did not.
One might ask, “Why should I care?” If you think, you might want to make Aliyah to Israel, by petitioning to become a citizen; you need to prove you are Jewish. Also, if you find yourself speaking Spanish with a different inflection you might be relieved to know that there is a people group that does that by mixing Castellan and Old Spanish together as their ancestors before them did. Most important, at least to me and to those I have interviewed is the reality that until each of us full knows ourselves how can we chose a life, a mate, a faith, or determine what we are to believe or become until we know our history. After all becoming all we are to be builds upon everything that came before. For many Sephardim all we are meant to be is not fully realized until they know their heritage.
Two Friends...
Corrine, Janice, and two friends of mine who shared a common ancestry they never suspected when they meet. Common interest and an odd way of saying Spanish words drew them together. It is unclear to me if either of them knew at that time that they were Sephardim, but I suspect not. Each spoke of living in a Spanish enclave during their childhood, and the Catholic Church being where all things religious occurred. Read their interviews below to learn more. While you do ask yourself, “Could this be me or someone I know and if so what does that mean to them or me?”
Corrine’s Voice
I was born in 1929 and raised in downtown Los Angeles. My religious training was in the Catholic Church, as all in our family had done for years. In 1984, my son David, who had research our history, told me that we are Jewish. I paid no attention to him. In 1974, I found myself drawn to Jewish things. When my grandmother died, my mother showed me her baptismal certificate. I noticed that her godmother’s last name was Gold. I asked my mother about that, as Gold is a very unusual last name for a Spanish person to have because godparents are usually family members. She told me that her cousin had told her when she was a child that they were Jews but not to tell anyone. It was then I remembered my grandfather singing in a strange language out by the chicken coops, and my mother saying, “He sings like a cantor!” The realization that we were not what we seemed to be created within me a hunger to know more. Since then I have invested my time and energy to learn all I can about my Jewish roots. That investigation has made me aware of the charges the Inquisitor made against my family, revealed the possibility that they may have come over with Columbus, and the knowledge that they settled in what is now the southwestern United States. Today, through much work on behalf of my family, I have acquired the documents to prove what I am saying. Were it not for the Decree of Alhambra and the Spanish Inquisition, we would still be in Spain, but due to that decree and its effects upon my family and the Jews still hiding, I am willing to state that what man meant for evil, God used for good!
Janice’s Voice
There was a stirring in my heart to follow my mother’s influence and learn about the Jewish people. I remember my fourth grade class in parochial school, where Sister Demetrius instilled within us the fact that the Jews did not kill Christ, but it was our sins that put him on the cross. Between my schooling and Mom’s love for the Jewish heritage, there was birthed within me a tenderness toward the Jewish people. As I reached what some would call middle age, this stirring intensified until I needed to know more. For years, I told people that I was Basque. However, I never went to the town whose name I bore. Then I met a woman whose son was a missionary in Spain. I asked him if he could take me to Ulibarri and he agreed. In 2008, I made the trip to Spain. We traveled throughout the Navarra region until I finally stepped onto the soil that had been home to my family centuries before. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that there was a strong Jewish presence in that region. Could my mother have been trying to tell me something all those years ago? I will never know for sure. However, my journey of the heart allowed me to look at my heritage and history with new eyes. When I returned home, I told my children, “We have a Jewish heritage.” They rolled their eyes. Months later, my son called and said, “I was waiting for the metro and was approached by a scholarly man who looked at my badge, which identifies me by my last name. He read ‘Mireles’ and asked me if I knew about my name and my heritage. I was able to give him the information you had shared with us. I was stunned when he gave me additional information, which proved to me that what you had said was correct! I called you, and I told my brothers and sisters that what you had said was true.”
Interested in discovering more...
Casa de Naomi – The House of Blessing – October 2011
Response to my blog seems to be growing. Read on...
Ron wrote: "I love the way you build suspence like a mystery writer. Instead of "who done it" you ask "who am I, really?" The surprise ending awaits every reader who is willing to embrace and face their own heritage."
~~~~~
When I posted this blog, Inez Aguilar-Davis commented, “I am a Sephardic Jew and happy that I know who I am.”
I responded, “I know you are a Sephardic Jew and I am thrilled to know you! Because many Spanish or Mexicans do not know but think they might be Jewish, this article was written for them. You might want to read it as well, and if you know someone who is uncertain please direct him or her to the blog.”
This evening Inez Aguilar-Davis I read it, and said, “Very good, I am impressed and I will pass it on.”
~~~~~
I am living an authors dream for each of us that write about real people or in this case, real people and their history, could ask for no praise higher than that posted here!
~~~~~~
Gil Dela Cruz commented, “I can imagine how prolific that book is, perhaps that would pave a way of discovering one self that he has a Jewish decent. In Philippines, there are Jews called Marano, historically, they arrived here in the early 20th century from Spain. The first shoe manufacturer in Marikina City was owned by Jewish and today that place has become more prominence on shoe market.”
Tomorrow...
Now that you have read about Abraham Lincoln and Christopher Columbus’ Sephardic heritage, you might wonder how one would know if they are a member of this hidden race.
Curious? Visit "Year of 5,000 Books" tomorrow and find out...
Now that you have read about Abraham Lincoln and Christopher Columbus’ Sephardic heritage, you might wonder how one would know if they are a member of this hidden race.
Curious? Visit "Year of 5,000 Books" tomorrow and find out...
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The 16th President of the United States of America was born on February 12, 1809. His mother, Nancy Hanks Lincoln, was a young, poor, illiterate woman from Virginia. She gave birth to him in a log cabin built along the banks of the south fork of Nolin Creek, near what is now Hodgenville, Kentucky. That infant, whom she named Abraham, grew to become a great but tragic national leader.
Lincoln was a man known for his spiritual convictions. Yet, a fascinatingly instructive fact was that Abraham Lincoln was the only American president who did not declare himself a member of any particular religion or faith. This fact has caused many to speculate that he might have been Jewish. After all, his name was Abraham and his great-grandfather was named Mordechai. Lincoln was the only President that had no formal religious affiliation, he was not raised in, nor did he ever belong to a church.
The town of Lincoln, in eastern England, where his ancestors came from, had a large group of Jewish people who build homes there in 1159. Since Spanish Jews had been dealing with programs hundreds of year prior to their Expulsion from Spain, since it was a short route from Spain to England, and since those who fled usually took the name of the town they settled in for their last name, these Jews were most likely Sephardic Jews fleeing oppression. Over time, these Jews flourished, had many offspring, and became a large part of that community. However, during the Crusades riots were fomented against these Jews. The Sheriff of Lincoln saved them by giving them his official protection. The great Bishop of Lincoln, St. Hugh, taught those of the Christian faith that they should love the Jews. His death was marked by an official period of mourning among Lincoln's Jews. Jews flourished in this community and many learned scholars claimed Lincoln as their home. However, in 1255, Lincoln's Jews were accused of ritual murder. Ninety-one of them were sent to London for trial, 18 were executed. However, Lincoln’s Jewish community flourished until 1290 when they were forcibly expelled by edict.
To understand why Abraham Lincoln might have known about his heritage and chosen to keep quite, or why his mother may have never told him, one needs to understand what happened when Edward I implemented The Edict of Expulsion that forced all Jews to leave England. To the Jews this was unfathomable because following the Conquest of 1066, Jews were an important part of Norman English society. English Nobles were constantly in need of money, and borrowed heavily from Jewish moneylenders. William the Conqueror had recognized the importance of the Jewish moneylenders to Norman society, and offered them special protection under law. He declared Jews to be his direct subjects, not subjects of their local feudal lord. Because of this, English kings saw the Jewish moneylenders as a convenient source of funds. The king could levy taxes against Jews without needing the prior approval of Parliament.
The Norman invasion caused the medieval world to undergo a gradual shift towards religious emphasis on a single belief epitomized by the Fourth Lateran Council of 1215, which required Jews and Muslims to wear special dress so that they were easily to distinguish from Christians. Jews were required to wear a special badge. Church proclamations gave official approval to attitudes that were already prevalent in medieval society. Persecution became more evident culminating in outbreaks of mob violence aimed at Jews, which were, common in England, for example, in 1190 a mob killed hundreds of Jews in York.
At the same time as attitudes of intolerance became more common - and more acceptable the emergence of the Italian system of merchant banking made the Jewish moneylenders less vital to the nobility. Measures of punitive taxation against the Jews became common, with the result that there were fewer Jewish moneylenders with ready cash to lend. In 1285, the Statute of Jewry banned all usury, even by Jews, and gave Jews 15 years to end their practice. Unfortunately, given prevailing altitudes towards Jews in trade, few avenues of livelihood were open to those affected by the Statute.
Abraham Lincoln might not have claimed his Sephardic Jewish heritage, or his mother may have chosen to keep mute about his families’ history because of England’s expulsion of the Jews in 1492 when writs were sent to the sheriffs of most counties advising that all Jews in their counties had until 1 November to leave the realm. Jews remaining after this date were liable to be executed. Parliament agreed to a special tax on the Jews. Records are inexact for this period, but it seems that about 3000 Jews were forced to leave England due to the Expulsions decree.
But back to Lincoln...
When Abraham Lincoln was assassinated, entire Jewish communities sat shivah...morning Abrahams death as one would a son. Rabbis throughout the country eulogized the fallen President. Rabbi Isaac Mayer Wise, the man who created Reform Judaism in this country, began his eulogy with …”Brethren, the lamented Abraham Lincoln believed himself to be bone from our bone and flesh from our flesh. He supposed himself to be a descendant of Hebrew parentage. He said so in my presence.”
Lincoln religions beliefs were often questioned. When asked, he sighted a passage from Scripture that summed up his theology. It was the twentieth chapter of the Book of Exodus that he recommended that every American study, learn and follow. In English, it is usually referred to as the Ten Commandments.
Professor Elizabeth Hirschman of Rutgers University did extensive research and concluded that Abe Lincoln was Jewish
Next week...Did Columbus Edit a Book of Prophesy from the Old Testament
Lincoln was a man known for his spiritual convictions. Yet, a fascinatingly instructive fact was that Abraham Lincoln was the only American president who did not declare himself a member of any particular religion or faith. This fact has caused many to speculate that he might have been Jewish. After all, his name was Abraham and his great-grandfather was named Mordechai. Lincoln was the only President that had no formal religious affiliation, he was not raised in, nor did he ever belong to a church.
The town of Lincoln, in eastern England, where his ancestors came from, had a large group of Jewish people who build homes there in 1159. Since Spanish Jews had been dealing with programs hundreds of year prior to their Expulsion from Spain, since it was a short route from Spain to England, and since those who fled usually took the name of the town they settled in for their last name, these Jews were most likely Sephardic Jews fleeing oppression. Over time, these Jews flourished, had many offspring, and became a large part of that community. However, during the Crusades riots were fomented against these Jews. The Sheriff of Lincoln saved them by giving them his official protection. The great Bishop of Lincoln, St. Hugh, taught those of the Christian faith that they should love the Jews. His death was marked by an official period of mourning among Lincoln's Jews. Jews flourished in this community and many learned scholars claimed Lincoln as their home. However, in 1255, Lincoln's Jews were accused of ritual murder. Ninety-one of them were sent to London for trial, 18 were executed. However, Lincoln’s Jewish community flourished until 1290 when they were forcibly expelled by edict.
To understand why Abraham Lincoln might have known about his heritage and chosen to keep quite, or why his mother may have never told him, one needs to understand what happened when Edward I implemented The Edict of Expulsion that forced all Jews to leave England. To the Jews this was unfathomable because following the Conquest of 1066, Jews were an important part of Norman English society. English Nobles were constantly in need of money, and borrowed heavily from Jewish moneylenders. William the Conqueror had recognized the importance of the Jewish moneylenders to Norman society, and offered them special protection under law. He declared Jews to be his direct subjects, not subjects of their local feudal lord. Because of this, English kings saw the Jewish moneylenders as a convenient source of funds. The king could levy taxes against Jews without needing the prior approval of Parliament.
The Norman invasion caused the medieval world to undergo a gradual shift towards religious emphasis on a single belief epitomized by the Fourth Lateran Council of 1215, which required Jews and Muslims to wear special dress so that they were easily to distinguish from Christians. Jews were required to wear a special badge. Church proclamations gave official approval to attitudes that were already prevalent in medieval society. Persecution became more evident culminating in outbreaks of mob violence aimed at Jews, which were, common in England, for example, in 1190 a mob killed hundreds of Jews in York.
At the same time as attitudes of intolerance became more common - and more acceptable the emergence of the Italian system of merchant banking made the Jewish moneylenders less vital to the nobility. Measures of punitive taxation against the Jews became common, with the result that there were fewer Jewish moneylenders with ready cash to lend. In 1285, the Statute of Jewry banned all usury, even by Jews, and gave Jews 15 years to end their practice. Unfortunately, given prevailing altitudes towards Jews in trade, few avenues of livelihood were open to those affected by the Statute.
Abraham Lincoln might not have claimed his Sephardic Jewish heritage, or his mother may have chosen to keep mute about his families’ history because of England’s expulsion of the Jews in 1492 when writs were sent to the sheriffs of most counties advising that all Jews in their counties had until 1 November to leave the realm. Jews remaining after this date were liable to be executed. Parliament agreed to a special tax on the Jews. Records are inexact for this period, but it seems that about 3000 Jews were forced to leave England due to the Expulsions decree.
But back to Lincoln...
When Abraham Lincoln was assassinated, entire Jewish communities sat shivah...morning Abrahams death as one would a son. Rabbis throughout the country eulogized the fallen President. Rabbi Isaac Mayer Wise, the man who created Reform Judaism in this country, began his eulogy with …”Brethren, the lamented Abraham Lincoln believed himself to be bone from our bone and flesh from our flesh. He supposed himself to be a descendant of Hebrew parentage. He said so in my presence.”
Lincoln religions beliefs were often questioned. When asked, he sighted a passage from Scripture that summed up his theology. It was the twentieth chapter of the Book of Exodus that he recommended that every American study, learn and follow. In English, it is usually referred to as the Ten Commandments.
Professor Elizabeth Hirschman of Rutgers University did extensive research and concluded that Abe Lincoln was Jewish
Next week...Did Columbus Edit a Book of Prophesy from the Old Testament
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Feedback from “Was President Abraham Lincoln the Descendent of a Sephardic Jew?” by Paula Rose Michelson
The comments keep on pouring in...
Steve L. Nyemba wrote, “Interesting analysis and thought provoking. It opens a whole host of questions related to social contract; socio/religious tolerance; state & religion. Great work!!”
~~~~~
Since WordWolf and several others have asked if I’m writing articles or a historical book about Abraham Lincoln, the Spanish and Mexican Inquisitions, or the Sephardim, I though it wise to post my response to them here.
“I am not a historian, but an author writing historic romantic fiction about a Sephardic girl who flees Spain in 1952 in search of religious freedom. To understand her, I did a lot of research. The first novel, in the Casa Saga, Casa de Naomi - The House of Blessing will be released in October. To build an audience, I have begun posting some of what I learned on my blog. Should you want more information, please invite me to speak and do a reading.”
~~~~~
This afternoon, further praise from WordWulf, "I really enjoyed the opening piece on Lincoln. Are you presenting these separately or as chapters in a total work? Having read everything I can find on Lincoln, I find credibility in your work, certainly a deeper truth about a most magnificent human being and writer."
~~~~~
It was lovely to wake up this morning to rave reviews of yesterdays posting. It’s exciting to post them here. If you have anything to add to this discourse please email me from this blog, post on FB or Tweet me!
Mia Marlowe Emily Bryan, "Fascinating."
Daniel Updegraff, "Very interesting"
Diana Catsoulas, "Very interesting - and VERY plausible - Thank you for this enlightening blog."
More comments...
WordWulf, "Lincoln is my favorite historical person. I read this with interest, find it plausible & worth consideration."
Another visitor to my blog identified themselves as “Mmusingsnprint” commented, “A town named Bostic, in NC claims to be Lincoln's birthplace." My response, although many claim famous people came form their town or suggested other locations, I reviewed Professor Elizabeth Hirschman of Rutgers Universities extensive research and agree with her conclusion, which stated that Abe Lincoln was Jewish.
If you have not read the blog mention here, it’s directly below this posting...Enjoy!
Steve L. Nyemba wrote, “Interesting analysis and thought provoking. It opens a whole host of questions related to social contract; socio/religious tolerance; state & religion. Great work!!”
~~~~~
Since WordWolf and several others have asked if I’m writing articles or a historical book about Abraham Lincoln, the Spanish and Mexican Inquisitions, or the Sephardim, I though it wise to post my response to them here.
“I am not a historian, but an author writing historic romantic fiction about a Sephardic girl who flees Spain in 1952 in search of religious freedom. To understand her, I did a lot of research. The first novel, in the Casa Saga, Casa de Naomi - The House of Blessing will be released in October. To build an audience, I have begun posting some of what I learned on my blog. Should you want more information, please invite me to speak and do a reading.”
~~~~~
This afternoon, further praise from WordWulf, "I really enjoyed the opening piece on Lincoln. Are you presenting these separately or as chapters in a total work? Having read everything I can find on Lincoln, I find credibility in your work, certainly a deeper truth about a most magnificent human being and writer."
~~~~~
It was lovely to wake up this morning to rave reviews of yesterdays posting. It’s exciting to post them here. If you have anything to add to this discourse please email me from this blog, post on FB or Tweet me!
Mia Marlowe Emily Bryan, "Fascinating."
Daniel Updegraff, "Very interesting"
Diana Catsoulas, "Very interesting - and VERY plausible - Thank you for this enlightening blog."
More comments...
WordWulf, "Lincoln is my favorite historical person. I read this with interest, find it plausible & worth consideration."
Another visitor to my blog identified themselves as “Mmusingsnprint” commented, “A town named Bostic, in NC claims to be Lincoln's birthplace." My response, although many claim famous people came form their town or suggested other locations, I reviewed Professor Elizabeth Hirschman of Rutgers Universities extensive research and agree with her conclusion, which stated that Abe Lincoln was Jewish.
If you have not read the blog mention here, it’s directly below this posting...Enjoy!
Category:
1 comments
The 16th President of the United States of America was born on February 12, 1809. His mother, Nancy Hanks Lincoln, was a young, poor, illiterate woman from Virginia. She gave birth to him in a log cabin built along the banks of the south fork of Nolin Creek, near what is now Hodgenville, Kentucky. That infant, whom she named Abraham, grew to become a great but tragic national leader.
Lincoln was a man known for his spiritual convictions. Yet, a fascinatingly instructive fact was that Abraham Lincoln was the only American president who did not declare himself a member of any particular religion or faith. This fact has caused many to speculate that he might have been Jewish. After all, his name was Abraham and his great-grandfather was named Mordechai. Lincoln was the only President that had no formal religious affiliation, he was not raised in, nor did he ever belong to a church.
The town of Lincoln, in eastern England, where his ancestors came from, had a large group of Jewish people who build homes there in 1159. Since Spanish Jews had been dealing with programs hundreds of year prior to their Expulsion from Spain, since it was a short route from Spain to England, and since those who fled usually took the name of the town they settled in for their last name, these Jews were most likely Sephardic Jews fleeing oppression. Over time, these Jews flourished, had many offspring, and became a large part of that community. However, during the Crusades riots were fomented against these Jews. The Sheriff of Lincoln saved them by giving them his official protection. The great Bishop of Lincoln, St. Hugh, taught those of the Christian faith that they should love the Jews. His death was marked by an official period of mourning among Lincoln's Jews. Jews flourished in this community and many learned scholars claimed Lincoln as their home. However, in 1255, Lincoln's Jews were accused of ritual murder. Ninety-one of them were sent to London for trial, 18 were executed. However, Lincoln’s Jewish community flourished until 1290 when they were forcibly expelled by edict.
To understand why Abraham Lincoln might have known about his heritage and chosen to keep quite, or why his mother may have never told him, one needs to understand what happened when Edward I implemented The Edict of Expulsion that forced all Jews to leave England. To the Jews this was unfathomable because following the Conquest of 1066, Jews were an important part of Norman English society. English Nobles were constantly in need of money, and borrowed heavily from Jewish moneylenders. William the Conqueror had recognized the importance of the Jewish moneylenders to Norman society, and offered them special protection under law. He declared Jews to be his direct subjects, not subjects of their local feudal lord. Because of this, English kings saw the Jewish moneylenders as a convenient source of funds. The king could levy taxes against Jews without needing the prior approval of Parliament.
The Norman invasion caused the medieval world to undergo a gradual shift towards religious emphasis on a single belief epitomized by the Fourth Lateran Council of 1215, which required Jews and Muslims to wear special dress so that they were easily to distinguish from Christians. Jews were required to wear a special badge. Church proclamations gave official approval to attitudes that were already prevalent in medieval society. Persecution became more evident culminating in outbreaks of mob violence aimed at Jews, which were, common in England, for example, in 1190 a mob killed hundreds of Jews in York.
At the same time as attitudes of intolerance became more common - and more acceptable the emergence of the Italian system of merchant banking made the Jewish moneylenders less vital to the nobility. Measures of punitive taxation against the Jews became common, with the result that there were fewer Jewish moneylenders with ready cash to lend. In 1285, the Statute of Jewry banned all usury, even by Jews, and gave Jews 15 years to end their practice. Unfortunately, given prevailing altitudes towards Jews in trade, few avenues of livelihood were open to those affected by the Statute.
Abraham Lincoln might not have claimed his Sephardic Jewish heritage, or his mother may have chosen to keep mute about his families’ history because of England’s expulsion of the Jews in 1492 when writs were sent to the sheriffs of most counties advising that all Jews in their counties had until 1 November to leave the realm. Jews remaining after this date were liable to be executed. Parliament agreed to a special tax on the Jews. Records are inexact for this period, but it seems that about 3000 Jews were forced to leave England due to the Expulsions decree.
But back to Lincoln...
When Abraham Lincoln was assassinated, entire Jewish communities sat shivah...morning Abrahams death as one would a son. Rabbis throughout the country eulogized the fallen President. Rabbi Isaac Mayer Wise, the man who created Reform Judaism in this country, began his eulogy with …”Brethren, the lamented Abraham Lincoln believed himself to be bone from our bone and flesh from our flesh. He supposed himself to be a descendant of Hebrew parentage. He said so in my presence.”
Lincoln religions beliefs were often questioned. When asked, he sighted a passage from Scripture that summed up his theology. It was the twentieth chapter of the Book of Exodus that he recommended that every American study, learn and follow. In English, it is usually referred to as the Ten Commandments.
Professor Elizabeth Hirschman of Rutgers University did extensive research and concluded that Abe Lincoln was Jewish
Next week...Did Columbus Edit a Book of Prophesy from the Old Testament?
Lincoln was a man known for his spiritual convictions. Yet, a fascinatingly instructive fact was that Abraham Lincoln was the only American president who did not declare himself a member of any particular religion or faith. This fact has caused many to speculate that he might have been Jewish. After all, his name was Abraham and his great-grandfather was named Mordechai. Lincoln was the only President that had no formal religious affiliation, he was not raised in, nor did he ever belong to a church.
The town of Lincoln, in eastern England, where his ancestors came from, had a large group of Jewish people who build homes there in 1159. Since Spanish Jews had been dealing with programs hundreds of year prior to their Expulsion from Spain, since it was a short route from Spain to England, and since those who fled usually took the name of the town they settled in for their last name, these Jews were most likely Sephardic Jews fleeing oppression. Over time, these Jews flourished, had many offspring, and became a large part of that community. However, during the Crusades riots were fomented against these Jews. The Sheriff of Lincoln saved them by giving them his official protection. The great Bishop of Lincoln, St. Hugh, taught those of the Christian faith that they should love the Jews. His death was marked by an official period of mourning among Lincoln's Jews. Jews flourished in this community and many learned scholars claimed Lincoln as their home. However, in 1255, Lincoln's Jews were accused of ritual murder. Ninety-one of them were sent to London for trial, 18 were executed. However, Lincoln’s Jewish community flourished until 1290 when they were forcibly expelled by edict.
To understand why Abraham Lincoln might have known about his heritage and chosen to keep quite, or why his mother may have never told him, one needs to understand what happened when Edward I implemented The Edict of Expulsion that forced all Jews to leave England. To the Jews this was unfathomable because following the Conquest of 1066, Jews were an important part of Norman English society. English Nobles were constantly in need of money, and borrowed heavily from Jewish moneylenders. William the Conqueror had recognized the importance of the Jewish moneylenders to Norman society, and offered them special protection under law. He declared Jews to be his direct subjects, not subjects of their local feudal lord. Because of this, English kings saw the Jewish moneylenders as a convenient source of funds. The king could levy taxes against Jews without needing the prior approval of Parliament.
The Norman invasion caused the medieval world to undergo a gradual shift towards religious emphasis on a single belief epitomized by the Fourth Lateran Council of 1215, which required Jews and Muslims to wear special dress so that they were easily to distinguish from Christians. Jews were required to wear a special badge. Church proclamations gave official approval to attitudes that were already prevalent in medieval society. Persecution became more evident culminating in outbreaks of mob violence aimed at Jews, which were, common in England, for example, in 1190 a mob killed hundreds of Jews in York.
At the same time as attitudes of intolerance became more common - and more acceptable the emergence of the Italian system of merchant banking made the Jewish moneylenders less vital to the nobility. Measures of punitive taxation against the Jews became common, with the result that there were fewer Jewish moneylenders with ready cash to lend. In 1285, the Statute of Jewry banned all usury, even by Jews, and gave Jews 15 years to end their practice. Unfortunately, given prevailing altitudes towards Jews in trade, few avenues of livelihood were open to those affected by the Statute.
Abraham Lincoln might not have claimed his Sephardic Jewish heritage, or his mother may have chosen to keep mute about his families’ history because of England’s expulsion of the Jews in 1492 when writs were sent to the sheriffs of most counties advising that all Jews in their counties had until 1 November to leave the realm. Jews remaining after this date were liable to be executed. Parliament agreed to a special tax on the Jews. Records are inexact for this period, but it seems that about 3000 Jews were forced to leave England due to the Expulsions decree.
But back to Lincoln...
When Abraham Lincoln was assassinated, entire Jewish communities sat shivah...morning Abrahams death as one would a son. Rabbis throughout the country eulogized the fallen President. Rabbi Isaac Mayer Wise, the man who created Reform Judaism in this country, began his eulogy with …”Brethren, the lamented Abraham Lincoln believed himself to be bone from our bone and flesh from our flesh. He supposed himself to be a descendant of Hebrew parentage. He said so in my presence.”
Lincoln religions beliefs were often questioned. When asked, he sighted a passage from Scripture that summed up his theology. It was the twentieth chapter of the Book of Exodus that he recommended that every American study, learn and follow. In English, it is usually referred to as the Ten Commandments.
Professor Elizabeth Hirschman of Rutgers University did extensive research and concluded that Abe Lincoln was Jewish
Next week...Did Columbus Edit a Book of Prophesy from the Old Testament?
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Tomorrows Blog – Was Abraham Lincoln a Sephardic Jew? “The Book of Prophesies” Columbus edited, were they the Biblical Prophesies found in the Old Testament?
Interested in discovering the answer to these questions and learning other startling things, check back tomorrow evening!
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Columbus is an absolute puzzle. Because some of the stories are so deliberately misleading, one would think that there had been many efforts to obscure his descent and lure investigators away from the truth. Columbus himself may have wanted to keep the world, and to some extent his family in the dark. If so, he succeeded.
Around the age of 25, Columbus turned up in Lisbon and said he was a cartographer, which would imply an extensive knowledge of nautical matters. The question of how he got there has not been settled. However, he said he had been shipwrecked on the coast of Portugal. Since he drew maps and dealt in printed books, some Spanish scholars assert that he must have been born on the island of Majorca for that was the center of cartography and cosmography. Here we see Columbus involved in a science that was practiced by Jews; only on occasion was a Moor or Christian practitioner to be found. Since a lower middle class weavers son (which is how Columbus identified himself at 18) generally did not attend university unless they studied for the priesthood or had a wealth sponsor that paid for private tutors, one wonders how he learned Spanish, Portuguese, Latin, Genoese, perhaps Italian, and even Hebrew. Scholars are mystified.
More baffling, at another point, he said that he went to sea at the age of 14 as a cabin boy. A cabin boy received no education in languages or science yet Columbus possessed this knowledge. While in Portugal, Columbus pursued the professions of cartography and calligrapher which were seldom held by anyone other than those who were "Judaized" (Jews that had returned to the Law of Moses as they called the Torah). An even greater mystery surrounds Columbus marriage to a Portuguese noble woman, far above his station in society. Several times in his writings, he mentioned that Castilian was his mother tongue. However, it was said that while on voyages whenever he was dissatisfied with the work of his crew, he reviled the men in Italian. Yet others claim that he spoke Castilian with a Portuguese accent.
The marginal notes in his books make it plain that Columbus was well acquainted with the Old Testament. He cited the Prophets and was privy to information belonging to the intellectual world of Judaism. How did he come by such knowledge? In, "Historia Rerum Ubique Gestarum" written by Pope Pius II, his notes reveal that he was familiar with Jewish chronology. He dates a marginal note with the year 1481 and promptly gives the Jewish equivalent, the year 5241. In truth, nobody knows where his learning may have been acquired.
Many scholars have been struck by the way Columbus seems to belabor his religion. In this respect, his behavior was like that of the Converso (Jews who became Catholic to marry or ensure their survival) of that period. They, too, publicly displayed their Christian faith at every possible opportunity. The proof that religious elements played a great part in Columbus's thoughts and actions is evident from all his writings. His concept of sailing west to reach the Indies was less the result of geographical theories than of his faith in certain Biblical texts. He cited two verses from the Book of Isaiah, which he was repudiated to repeat often: "Surely the isles shall wait for me, and the ships of Tarshish first, to bring thy sons from far, their silver and their gold with them," (60:9); and "For behold, I create new heavens and a new earth" (65:17). He felt that his voyages confirmed these prophecies. Isaiah seems to have been his favorite book of the Bible and he was known to quote from the Book of Ezra. In general, he demonstrated a sound knowledge of the Old Testament. This might have been true of any cultivated man of the age. Yet what are we to make of the presence in the Admiral's library of the "Jewish War," the account of the downfall of the ancient Jewish state by Josephus Flavius, or "De Nativitatibus" by the Jewish scholar Abraham ibn Ezra. Then again, his library reveals that he studied a book on the Messiah by a Jewish renegade, the former Rabbi Samuel ibn Abbas of Morocco, from which work he even copied out several chapters, the better to master them. Was Columbus trying just a bit too hard to act, sound, and appear "like a Christian" through studied words and actions?
While the crown debated the voyage that Columbus finally took, he set his eyes on the office of Viceroy, the title of Grand Admiral of the Ocean Sea, and a share in whatever treasures were found. When Granada fell, he intensified his efforts at court. Negotiations stalled because the queen knew that the country could not bear the costs of the expedition. Four men of Jewish descent intervened: Juan Cabrero, Luis de Santangel, Gabriel Sanchez, and Alfonso de la Caballeria offered to put up the money for the expedition. If the crown had not known Santangel, the offer of these Jews would have been rejected and Columbus's voyage would not have taken place. The royal couple needed his help so badly that on May 30, 1497, Ferdinand and Isabella handed Santangel a special charter that protected both him and his descendants for all time from being summoned by the tribunal of the Inquisition. They were accorded a kind of honorary "Aryan" status; their charter was a special "limpieza de sangre" which was so important in Spain at that time.
During this period, the Inquisition was raising and burning Jewish towns and fomenting riots. One would have thought that people of Jewish descent had other matters to attend to rather than aid Columbus, whom they viewed as a foreigner who had come to Castile with some hare-brained notion of touring the Indies. The experts had pronounced his plans risky and unsound. Yet those very Jews and Christianized descendants of Jews, who were reputed to be astute, put themselves behind a man whom the king's scientific advisory council had rejected. Why? This journey involved seafaring and lands about which they knew nothing. Although it was not in their character to give an enormous loan without security, Salvador de Madariaga argued that Columbus was himself a Converso and thus received support from his co-religionists in high places. Since they were descended from Jews, they were threatened just as if they were Jewish themselves. It was only a question of time and men like Luis Santangel knew it. That was why they were ready to throw their weight behind the expedition.
The majority of Spanish Jews did not understand the extent of the hatred that was around them, and denied its existence because it was incompatible with their innate optimism, which for centuries had formed the basis for the survival of Jewry. Turbulent Spain, religious fanaticism culminating in the Inquisition’s victimization of Spain's Sephardic Jews; the forced baptisms; pureblood laws; arbitrary tortures and liquidation; confiscation of property; ended in the final, irreversible decree of expulsion, which coincided precisely with Columbus's momentous voyage of discovery.
All Jews had to leave Spain. They began making their preparations for departure while Columbus prepared to sail. Since the regulations allowed the Jews to take only hand baggage, if they could find a buyer, they sold their property for pennies on the dollar because they needed the funds to pay their way out of Spain. The charge was called an emigration fee. If they did not have the money, they had to stay. If they were on Spanish soil at the stroke of midnight on March 31, 1492, they were killed. With death emanate, while Columbus prepared to sail, Jews were baptized into the Catholic faith. Columbus sailed on August 3, 1492. Before midnight, these hidden Jews secretly board his vessels. Columbus set sail one-half hour before sunrise. The reason for his secrecy was the crown's move years before the Inquisition, which forced Jews who were now being watched by the office of the Inquisition to reside in ghettoes and stay in after nightfall. This might sound like a small matter but to the Jews it meant that if they were discovered to be practicing the Jewish faith, they were dead!
If you are wondering if Columbus were a Jew ask yourself why he mislead people about his country of origin, his personal history, why he made certain that those aboard his ships were Jewish, and why he studied what others did not. Furthermore, considered why he took a Hebrew interpreter with him, which at the time must have seemed decidedly odd since Hebrew was not the language of any country in the known world. The only possible explanation must be that Columbus expected to be reach countries where Jews lived and governed. And why would he be sailing there unless he were a Jewish man trying to aid his disenfranchised people? Although we do not know why he did what he did, we do know that Columbus sent a Jewish interpreter, Luis de Torres, to communicate with the natives. Therefore, we can conclude that after landfall in America the first words addressed to the natives were words of Hebrew.
Columbus did not discover the way to India, although after his landing he was convinced that he had done so and he remained convinced to the end of his life. The natives whom Luis de Torres addressed in Hebrew had not understood the language. The dream of the Jews and Conversos, that Columbus would show them the way to the ten tribes of Israel, was not fulfilled. Yet Columbus was dedicated to exploration and made four trips in all and discovered, America, the Bahamas archipelago, at a locale he named San Salvador on his first voyage. Over the course of three more voyages, Columbus visited the Greater and Lesser Antilles, as well as the Caribbean coast of Venezuela and Central America, claiming them for Spain. Was Columbus a Jew? You decide. However, before you do, consider that the passenger manifests for the three other voyages which reveal as many Sephardic surnames (the last names of Spanish Jews) as the first voyage did.
Bibliography: Wiesenthal, Simon, Sails of Hope, Macmillan
Publishing Co., Inc., 1973
Around the age of 25, Columbus turned up in Lisbon and said he was a cartographer, which would imply an extensive knowledge of nautical matters. The question of how he got there has not been settled. However, he said he had been shipwrecked on the coast of Portugal. Since he drew maps and dealt in printed books, some Spanish scholars assert that he must have been born on the island of Majorca for that was the center of cartography and cosmography. Here we see Columbus involved in a science that was practiced by Jews; only on occasion was a Moor or Christian practitioner to be found. Since a lower middle class weavers son (which is how Columbus identified himself at 18) generally did not attend university unless they studied for the priesthood or had a wealth sponsor that paid for private tutors, one wonders how he learned Spanish, Portuguese, Latin, Genoese, perhaps Italian, and even Hebrew. Scholars are mystified.
More baffling, at another point, he said that he went to sea at the age of 14 as a cabin boy. A cabin boy received no education in languages or science yet Columbus possessed this knowledge. While in Portugal, Columbus pursued the professions of cartography and calligrapher which were seldom held by anyone other than those who were "Judaized" (Jews that had returned to the Law of Moses as they called the Torah). An even greater mystery surrounds Columbus marriage to a Portuguese noble woman, far above his station in society. Several times in his writings, he mentioned that Castilian was his mother tongue. However, it was said that while on voyages whenever he was dissatisfied with the work of his crew, he reviled the men in Italian. Yet others claim that he spoke Castilian with a Portuguese accent.
The marginal notes in his books make it plain that Columbus was well acquainted with the Old Testament. He cited the Prophets and was privy to information belonging to the intellectual world of Judaism. How did he come by such knowledge? In, "Historia Rerum Ubique Gestarum" written by Pope Pius II, his notes reveal that he was familiar with Jewish chronology. He dates a marginal note with the year 1481 and promptly gives the Jewish equivalent, the year 5241. In truth, nobody knows where his learning may have been acquired.
Many scholars have been struck by the way Columbus seems to belabor his religion. In this respect, his behavior was like that of the Converso (Jews who became Catholic to marry or ensure their survival) of that period. They, too, publicly displayed their Christian faith at every possible opportunity. The proof that religious elements played a great part in Columbus's thoughts and actions is evident from all his writings. His concept of sailing west to reach the Indies was less the result of geographical theories than of his faith in certain Biblical texts. He cited two verses from the Book of Isaiah, which he was repudiated to repeat often: "Surely the isles shall wait for me, and the ships of Tarshish first, to bring thy sons from far, their silver and their gold with them," (60:9); and "For behold, I create new heavens and a new earth" (65:17). He felt that his voyages confirmed these prophecies. Isaiah seems to have been his favorite book of the Bible and he was known to quote from the Book of Ezra. In general, he demonstrated a sound knowledge of the Old Testament. This might have been true of any cultivated man of the age. Yet what are we to make of the presence in the Admiral's library of the "Jewish War," the account of the downfall of the ancient Jewish state by Josephus Flavius, or "De Nativitatibus" by the Jewish scholar Abraham ibn Ezra. Then again, his library reveals that he studied a book on the Messiah by a Jewish renegade, the former Rabbi Samuel ibn Abbas of Morocco, from which work he even copied out several chapters, the better to master them. Was Columbus trying just a bit too hard to act, sound, and appear "like a Christian" through studied words and actions?
While the crown debated the voyage that Columbus finally took, he set his eyes on the office of Viceroy, the title of Grand Admiral of the Ocean Sea, and a share in whatever treasures were found. When Granada fell, he intensified his efforts at court. Negotiations stalled because the queen knew that the country could not bear the costs of the expedition. Four men of Jewish descent intervened: Juan Cabrero, Luis de Santangel, Gabriel Sanchez, and Alfonso de la Caballeria offered to put up the money for the expedition. If the crown had not known Santangel, the offer of these Jews would have been rejected and Columbus's voyage would not have taken place. The royal couple needed his help so badly that on May 30, 1497, Ferdinand and Isabella handed Santangel a special charter that protected both him and his descendants for all time from being summoned by the tribunal of the Inquisition. They were accorded a kind of honorary "Aryan" status; their charter was a special "limpieza de sangre" which was so important in Spain at that time.
During this period, the Inquisition was raising and burning Jewish towns and fomenting riots. One would have thought that people of Jewish descent had other matters to attend to rather than aid Columbus, whom they viewed as a foreigner who had come to Castile with some hare-brained notion of touring the Indies. The experts had pronounced his plans risky and unsound. Yet those very Jews and Christianized descendants of Jews, who were reputed to be astute, put themselves behind a man whom the king's scientific advisory council had rejected. Why? This journey involved seafaring and lands about which they knew nothing. Although it was not in their character to give an enormous loan without security, Salvador de Madariaga argued that Columbus was himself a Converso and thus received support from his co-religionists in high places. Since they were descended from Jews, they were threatened just as if they were Jewish themselves. It was only a question of time and men like Luis Santangel knew it. That was why they were ready to throw their weight behind the expedition.
The majority of Spanish Jews did not understand the extent of the hatred that was around them, and denied its existence because it was incompatible with their innate optimism, which for centuries had formed the basis for the survival of Jewry. Turbulent Spain, religious fanaticism culminating in the Inquisition’s victimization of Spain's Sephardic Jews; the forced baptisms; pureblood laws; arbitrary tortures and liquidation; confiscation of property; ended in the final, irreversible decree of expulsion, which coincided precisely with Columbus's momentous voyage of discovery.
All Jews had to leave Spain. They began making their preparations for departure while Columbus prepared to sail. Since the regulations allowed the Jews to take only hand baggage, if they could find a buyer, they sold their property for pennies on the dollar because they needed the funds to pay their way out of Spain. The charge was called an emigration fee. If they did not have the money, they had to stay. If they were on Spanish soil at the stroke of midnight on March 31, 1492, they were killed. With death emanate, while Columbus prepared to sail, Jews were baptized into the Catholic faith. Columbus sailed on August 3, 1492. Before midnight, these hidden Jews secretly board his vessels. Columbus set sail one-half hour before sunrise. The reason for his secrecy was the crown's move years before the Inquisition, which forced Jews who were now being watched by the office of the Inquisition to reside in ghettoes and stay in after nightfall. This might sound like a small matter but to the Jews it meant that if they were discovered to be practicing the Jewish faith, they were dead!
If you are wondering if Columbus were a Jew ask yourself why he mislead people about his country of origin, his personal history, why he made certain that those aboard his ships were Jewish, and why he studied what others did not. Furthermore, considered why he took a Hebrew interpreter with him, which at the time must have seemed decidedly odd since Hebrew was not the language of any country in the known world. The only possible explanation must be that Columbus expected to be reach countries where Jews lived and governed. And why would he be sailing there unless he were a Jewish man trying to aid his disenfranchised people? Although we do not know why he did what he did, we do know that Columbus sent a Jewish interpreter, Luis de Torres, to communicate with the natives. Therefore, we can conclude that after landfall in America the first words addressed to the natives were words of Hebrew.
Columbus did not discover the way to India, although after his landing he was convinced that he had done so and he remained convinced to the end of his life. The natives whom Luis de Torres addressed in Hebrew had not understood the language. The dream of the Jews and Conversos, that Columbus would show them the way to the ten tribes of Israel, was not fulfilled. Yet Columbus was dedicated to exploration and made four trips in all and discovered, America, the Bahamas archipelago, at a locale he named San Salvador on his first voyage. Over the course of three more voyages, Columbus visited the Greater and Lesser Antilles, as well as the Caribbean coast of Venezuela and Central America, claiming them for Spain. Was Columbus a Jew? You decide. However, before you do, consider that the passenger manifests for the three other voyages which reveal as many Sephardic surnames (the last names of Spanish Jews) as the first voyage did.
Bibliography: Wiesenthal, Simon, Sails of Hope, Macmillan
Publishing Co., Inc., 1973
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At this point writing about research or developing a bibliography for a work of romantic historic fiction would seem tantamount to the kiss of death. However, since it is through research that I uncovered hidden truths and unveiled misconceptions it is pertinent that I mention it at this time. Furthermore, through my research I found many of the facts that gave each characters story a historical bases including where each one came from, how they arrived in New York, their practices in Spain, England, and here. At the apex of all I found was information on the Jews who are still hiding in Spain although, the Spanish crown rescinded the Decree of Alhambra more than 19 years ago.
Today I will share a brief portion of my research experience because it will take at least another entry or two to do justice to every book and article I found, or received and the blessing contained within each of them.
Three Books Used in Researching the Casa Saga...
The first book I acquired was Dr. Dell Sanchez tour déforce, "Aliyah! The Exodus Continues." This slim tome gave me more information than any other volume did in scope and breath of research. Within its pages, I found the answers for many who wonder if they had a Sephardic heritage because Dr. Sanchez’s book lists the names of towns raised, people killed, and the flight paths taken by many who fled Spain and New Spain. Thus making what some want to believe a myth a reality.
Dr. Martin A. Cohen’s "The Martyr -The Story of a Secret Jew and the Mexican Inquisition in the Sixteenth Century," shed light on the first governor of New Spain, a converso - a Jew converted into the Catholic faith during the Inquisition, who practiced his Judaism at home and called others back to that faith. The Inquisition arrested him on the grounds of being a Judaizer. What happened to him and his family served as a historical reference for the conclusion of the Casa Saga.
"Hidden Heritage-The Legacy of the Crypto-Jews," by Jane Jacobs Liebman was the most startling book I received since I had not order that tome. It appeared on my doorstep instead of the book I had ordered. I was going to send it back. However, being a scribe for the Lord, I decided to peruse it first. I was amazed to discover that while the author interviewed residence of the Southwestern United States for her Doctorial Thesis, many showed her Jewish artifacts, and told her their oral history. This led her, an Ashkenazi Jew, to discover her Spanish roots.
Many say that if you scratch a Spaniard you will find a Jew and some know that the liturgy used today within the Jewish faith was written during the Golden Age of Judaism, which flourished in Spain before the Inquisition. Could it be that by studying the diaspora of the Spanish Jews some scholars might quip, “If you scratch a European you will also find a Jew?” Perhaps we will never know. Beside the better question, the one everyone wants to know the answer to is, “Was Christopher Columbus a Jew and did Queen Isabella give him her jewels or her Jews.”
I have the answers to those questions and will share them with you on my next blog post when I tell you more about the research that made writing these books a joy and a blessing.
Today I will share a brief portion of my research experience because it will take at least another entry or two to do justice to every book and article I found, or received and the blessing contained within each of them.
Three Books Used in Researching the Casa Saga...
The first book I acquired was Dr. Dell Sanchez tour déforce, "Aliyah! The Exodus Continues." This slim tome gave me more information than any other volume did in scope and breath of research. Within its pages, I found the answers for many who wonder if they had a Sephardic heritage because Dr. Sanchez’s book lists the names of towns raised, people killed, and the flight paths taken by many who fled Spain and New Spain. Thus making what some want to believe a myth a reality.
Dr. Martin A. Cohen’s "The Martyr -The Story of a Secret Jew and the Mexican Inquisition in the Sixteenth Century," shed light on the first governor of New Spain, a converso - a Jew converted into the Catholic faith during the Inquisition, who practiced his Judaism at home and called others back to that faith. The Inquisition arrested him on the grounds of being a Judaizer. What happened to him and his family served as a historical reference for the conclusion of the Casa Saga.
"Hidden Heritage-The Legacy of the Crypto-Jews," by Jane Jacobs Liebman was the most startling book I received since I had not order that tome. It appeared on my doorstep instead of the book I had ordered. I was going to send it back. However, being a scribe for the Lord, I decided to peruse it first. I was amazed to discover that while the author interviewed residence of the Southwestern United States for her Doctorial Thesis, many showed her Jewish artifacts, and told her their oral history. This led her, an Ashkenazi Jew, to discover her Spanish roots.
Many say that if you scratch a Spaniard you will find a Jew and some know that the liturgy used today within the Jewish faith was written during the Golden Age of Judaism, which flourished in Spain before the Inquisition. Could it be that by studying the diaspora of the Spanish Jews some scholars might quip, “If you scratch a European you will also find a Jew?” Perhaps we will never know. Beside the better question, the one everyone wants to know the answer to is, “Was Christopher Columbus a Jew and did Queen Isabella give him her jewels or her Jews.”
I have the answers to those questions and will share them with you on my next blog post when I tell you more about the research that made writing these books a joy and a blessing.
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And Now Chaz...
As a scribe for God, I planned to write one book about three women, two who meet while walking the Appalachian Trail and a third who joins them. When I discovered that the third character was a Sephardic Jew, I was unable to move forward with the story since I had never known a Spanish Jew. A week later, I attended a Messianic conference. During lunch with seven of my friends, I admitted, “I need help.”
“What do you need help with? Corrine asked.
“I need information about a Sephardic woman I’m supposed to write about.”
“My husband, Hilario, is a Sephardic Jew. I lived in Spain for fifteen years. We have books about the Jews and the Inquisition. I will ask Hilario to select a few for you to read,” Trish offered.
“There’s a great book for sale here!” Corrine exclaimed. “It will give you information on the Inquisition, how the Jews fled as well as their presence in New Spain, which is now Mexico.”
“Then, of course, there are the little known towns in the Basque region of Spain like Ulibarri, where my family lived,” Janice added.
I thought I would write what I wanted to write. However, God equipped me to write what He wanted me to write. First, with the books my Sephardic friends gave me, later with the resources I needed for my extensive research, which breathed life into the six novels of the Casa Saga.
When asked about being an author, I like to say, “Many believe that God calls the equipped. In my case, God equipped me once I responded to His call and because of His calling, my heart which at first was filled with sorrow, rejoiced in Him.”
After writing for three years and completing five of the six novels, God had me put the work aside. If He had not called, directed, and taught me the blessing of being a scribe for Him, I might not have been able to stop. Yet, His words still ringing in my heart the Holy Spirit reminded me of all the times I had thought I misunderstood what I was given and wondered if I should change the text. However, God always insisted that I was not to edit Him so I learned to rest in the Lord. During this time, it was especially important that I had learned this skill because many trials befell Ron and me from my broken hip, to shattered relationships. Furthermore, every time I visited with a writer or author friend of mine they would ask, “How is the writing going?”
I found myself saying, “I am waiting upon the Lord.” I truly believed that there were things God needed to teach or show me. For the first time in my life, I was in no hurry to move forward for the journey thus far had been one of focused though joyful endurance. Yet at the very moment that I should have relaxed, I began to feel like an expectant mother, knowing that a babe was being birthed, knowing the sex, and exact design of every aspect of that precious child, but not knowing when that miracle would happen.
I felt that way until I attended services last Shabbat. I had gotten in the habit of taking a journal with me because our rabbi’s sermons always stirred something within me and being a writer I wanted to write down what he said and what God revealed. However, last Shabbat I received a blessing I did not expect when the worship team sang songs that contained these words;
1. The Fallen Tent of David
2. The Daughter of Zion
3. A Royal Gem in the Hand of God
4. Behold Yeshua Comes
5. The Steps of a Good Man
6. Psalm 125: 1 “As the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the Lord surrounds his people both now and forevermore.”
Suddenly I understood how Messiah wanted the last book to begin. If you think it odd that, I am now mentioning Yeshua where before I wrote about God let me share that the change is deliberate. Chaz, Naomi’s husband, becomes more than a hero. For in the last book he becomes a foreshadowing of Messiah Ben David – The King Messiah, who returns to claim His bride, and with whom believers will tabernacle with forever.
Next entry, “In the Beginning.
As a scribe for God, I planned to write one book about three women, two who meet while walking the Appalachian Trail and a third who joins them. When I discovered that the third character was a Sephardic Jew, I was unable to move forward with the story since I had never known a Spanish Jew. A week later, I attended a Messianic conference. During lunch with seven of my friends, I admitted, “I need help.”
“What do you need help with? Corrine asked.
“I need information about a Sephardic woman I’m supposed to write about.”
“My husband, Hilario, is a Sephardic Jew. I lived in Spain for fifteen years. We have books about the Jews and the Inquisition. I will ask Hilario to select a few for you to read,” Trish offered.
“There’s a great book for sale here!” Corrine exclaimed. “It will give you information on the Inquisition, how the Jews fled as well as their presence in New Spain, which is now Mexico.”
“Then, of course, there are the little known towns in the Basque region of Spain like Ulibarri, where my family lived,” Janice added.
I thought I would write what I wanted to write. However, God equipped me to write what He wanted me to write. First, with the books my Sephardic friends gave me, later with the resources I needed for my extensive research, which breathed life into the six novels of the Casa Saga.
When asked about being an author, I like to say, “Many believe that God calls the equipped. In my case, God equipped me once I responded to His call and because of His calling, my heart which at first was filled with sorrow, rejoiced in Him.”
After writing for three years and completing five of the six novels, God had me put the work aside. If He had not called, directed, and taught me the blessing of being a scribe for Him, I might not have been able to stop. Yet, His words still ringing in my heart the Holy Spirit reminded me of all the times I had thought I misunderstood what I was given and wondered if I should change the text. However, God always insisted that I was not to edit Him so I learned to rest in the Lord. During this time, it was especially important that I had learned this skill because many trials befell Ron and me from my broken hip, to shattered relationships. Furthermore, every time I visited with a writer or author friend of mine they would ask, “How is the writing going?”
I found myself saying, “I am waiting upon the Lord.” I truly believed that there were things God needed to teach or show me. For the first time in my life, I was in no hurry to move forward for the journey thus far had been one of focused though joyful endurance. Yet at the very moment that I should have relaxed, I began to feel like an expectant mother, knowing that a babe was being birthed, knowing the sex, and exact design of every aspect of that precious child, but not knowing when that miracle would happen.
I felt that way until I attended services last Shabbat. I had gotten in the habit of taking a journal with me because our rabbi’s sermons always stirred something within me and being a writer I wanted to write down what he said and what God revealed. However, last Shabbat I received a blessing I did not expect when the worship team sang songs that contained these words;
1. The Fallen Tent of David
2. The Daughter of Zion
3. A Royal Gem in the Hand of God
4. Behold Yeshua Comes
5. The Steps of a Good Man
6. Psalm 125: 1 “As the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the Lord surrounds his people both now and forevermore.”
Suddenly I understood how Messiah wanted the last book to begin. If you think it odd that, I am now mentioning Yeshua where before I wrote about God let me share that the change is deliberate. Chaz, Naomi’s husband, becomes more than a hero. For in the last book he becomes a foreshadowing of Messiah Ben David – The King Messiah, who returns to claim His bride, and with whom believers will tabernacle with forever.
Next entry, “In the Beginning.
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Tomorrow I begin writing the sixth and last book to the Casa Saga, posting the story of how God called the books out, and my writing journey. Interested? Don’t miss a moment! Sign up now to follow my blog.
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Dear Followers,
I have never used this space to promote your readership once you joined. However, today blogger notified me that 10 people could get an app and read my “Year of 5,000 Books” from their phone. To bring a person into the system I need you to email me from the blog. If you are new to the blog and wish to receive the app please become a follower and email me through this system.
Since I have more than ten followers space is limited please get back to me as soon as possible!
Yours in Messiah,
Paula Rose Michelson
I have never used this space to promote your readership once you joined. However, today blogger notified me that 10 people could get an app and read my “Year of 5,000 Books” from their phone. To bring a person into the system I need you to email me from the blog. If you are new to the blog and wish to receive the app please become a follower and email me through this system.
Since I have more than ten followers space is limited please get back to me as soon as possible!
Yours in Messiah,
Paula Rose Michelson
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Rarely does one as set in her ways as I am find themselves eager to learn about things that many would chose to side step saying, “I’m to set in my ways and can get along without knowing…” However, if that person is as lucky as I am, they have a friend like Kathy Free to show them all that new technology can do for them and for their work.
Until a few weeks ago, I had never heard of personal apps. Nor had I noticed that business apps were taking over the marketplace. All that changed when Kathy, a long time acquaintance of mine, made it her mission to help me achieve my, “Year of 5,000 Books.” I am certain that she did not expect her interest in my work, coupled with my broken hip, to bring her into my life when I needed someone to be home when the hospital released me. Nor, do I imagine that when she offered to assist me that she’d ever thought a writer who seemed to know it all, knew nothing about modern technology. Although I must confess that I had stopped using the old quill I inherited from my grandmother months before I fell.
However, after a few weeks of mending, coming to consider Kathy a real friend who’d go the distance to help me, and editing Casa de Naomi – The House of Blessing, which is the first novel in the Casa Saga, I was boarded and ready to listen. It took less than half an hour for me to realize that I was living in the Stone Age. What authors had done before to promote their work was archaic when compared with the tools at our disposal today.
It took a trip to the mall to convince me that I needed to update my phone and join Twitter so that the app she would design for me could not only help me reach out people but also allow me to build a fan base for my work. I was thrilled to find the Android phone on sale and delighted to discover that all the bells and whistles came standard or I could find them by surfing apps that were free.
Today I got my Twitter account and began selected people to follow. Just like my FaceBook experience, suddenly I was able to connect with people all over the world! What a way to live! If you haven’t tried it yet get yourself set up with an Android phone and Tweet. And if you, like me, want the best personal or business app set up for you contact Kathy Free at http://www.msrtech.com/
Be sure to tell her that Paula sent you!
Until a few weeks ago, I had never heard of personal apps. Nor had I noticed that business apps were taking over the marketplace. All that changed when Kathy, a long time acquaintance of mine, made it her mission to help me achieve my, “Year of 5,000 Books.” I am certain that she did not expect her interest in my work, coupled with my broken hip, to bring her into my life when I needed someone to be home when the hospital released me. Nor, do I imagine that when she offered to assist me that she’d ever thought a writer who seemed to know it all, knew nothing about modern technology. Although I must confess that I had stopped using the old quill I inherited from my grandmother months before I fell.
However, after a few weeks of mending, coming to consider Kathy a real friend who’d go the distance to help me, and editing Casa de Naomi – The House of Blessing, which is the first novel in the Casa Saga, I was boarded and ready to listen. It took less than half an hour for me to realize that I was living in the Stone Age. What authors had done before to promote their work was archaic when compared with the tools at our disposal today.
It took a trip to the mall to convince me that I needed to update my phone and join Twitter so that the app she would design for me could not only help me reach out people but also allow me to build a fan base for my work. I was thrilled to find the Android phone on sale and delighted to discover that all the bells and whistles came standard or I could find them by surfing apps that were free.
Today I got my Twitter account and began selected people to follow. Just like my FaceBook experience, suddenly I was able to connect with people all over the world! What a way to live! If you haven’t tried it yet get yourself set up with an Android phone and Tweet. And if you, like me, want the best personal or business app set up for you contact Kathy Free at http://www.msrtech.com/
Be sure to tell her that Paula sent you!
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Although I wrote this piece in 1999 as part of an Ere of Shabbat (Friday night) Women’s Retreat lightening presentation, today I am posting it to celebrate our new bundle of joy, baby Eric.
Each child brings a blessing and a challenge. The blessing is the gift of life given from above, especially chosen by God for us. The challenge that grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends, and parents seek wisdom as we help mold this young life into a person who will chose to do what is right even when others tell him that what he is doing is wrong. A person who knows the Lord, loves Him, and wants to emulate Him - and Him alone.
I am certain that all of us endeavor to fulfill that calling. At times, we all fall short. That is why today the Lord asked me to post this poem as a reminder and a promise from Him. For truly when we are at our wits end, when everything we have tried to teach seems to have fallen upon deaf ears it is important to remember that…
Each of us has a special spark inside,
That needs to be lit and share with pride.
Not pride in who we are or what we do,
But pride in our Messiah who made our life new.
For just as these candles were shaped by a mold,
God has designed us in a way that is wonderful to behold!
It may take a lifetime to learn to yield our will,
So that God can make us a vessel worthy to fill,
With the pure light of His radiance and grace,
As evidenced by Yeshua who chose to take our place.
He came into this world,
The true light for all to see,
and yielded His life upon that fateful tree.
So as we put the match to the candles wick,
Let us each recall,
That we are but a small reflection of the greatest light of all
Each child brings a blessing and a challenge. The blessing is the gift of life given from above, especially chosen by God for us. The challenge that grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends, and parents seek wisdom as we help mold this young life into a person who will chose to do what is right even when others tell him that what he is doing is wrong. A person who knows the Lord, loves Him, and wants to emulate Him - and Him alone.
I am certain that all of us endeavor to fulfill that calling. At times, we all fall short. That is why today the Lord asked me to post this poem as a reminder and a promise from Him. For truly when we are at our wits end, when everything we have tried to teach seems to have fallen upon deaf ears it is important to remember that…
Each of us has a special spark inside,
That needs to be lit and share with pride.
Not pride in who we are or what we do,
But pride in our Messiah who made our life new.
For just as these candles were shaped by a mold,
God has designed us in a way that is wonderful to behold!
It may take a lifetime to learn to yield our will,
So that God can make us a vessel worthy to fill,
With the pure light of His radiance and grace,
As evidenced by Yeshua who chose to take our place.
He came into this world,
The true light for all to see,
and yielded His life upon that fateful tree.
So as we put the match to the candles wick,
Let us each recall,
That we are but a small reflection of the greatest light of all
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About five months ago, my Rabbi’s wife, Bonnie asked me to contact her friend Karen who is the editor of the Messianic Times because they needed writers. I spoke with Karen and sent her some samples of my writing and three interviews I had done for the Casa Saga. Although we clicked, I heard nothing from her until yesterday when she emailed me to see if I would be interested in writing a piece for the July/August issue. I suggested we talk today.
After a detailed conversation where we seemed to complete each other’s sentences, she told me of several opportunities. When she mentioned the third one the Spirit quickened it to my heart and hers! How fortunate for me that Bonnie mentioned my work to Karen and that she still remembered me after all this time.
Knowing that prayer must undergird everything, I am asking each of you lift up my ability to contact and interview the person that I am to write about and that my writing is clear and effectively uses the voice that the paper has established.
Furthermore, since the editor mentioned monthly assignments and my having a selection, please petition Adonai that I only ask for those assignments that He has chosen for me and that this work will bear fruit and bring the unsaved to Messiah!
Yours in Our Kinsman Redeemer,
Paula Rose Michelson – Author – The Casa Saga
Book One – Casa de Naomi – The House of Blessing – Yearning – fall 2001
After a detailed conversation where we seemed to complete each other’s sentences, she told me of several opportunities. When she mentioned the third one the Spirit quickened it to my heart and hers! How fortunate for me that Bonnie mentioned my work to Karen and that she still remembered me after all this time.
Knowing that prayer must undergird everything, I am asking each of you lift up my ability to contact and interview the person that I am to write about and that my writing is clear and effectively uses the voice that the paper has established.
Furthermore, since the editor mentioned monthly assignments and my having a selection, please petition Adonai that I only ask for those assignments that He has chosen for me and that this work will bear fruit and bring the unsaved to Messiah!
Yours in Our Kinsman Redeemer,
Paula Rose Michelson – Author – The Casa Saga
Book One – Casa de Naomi – The House of Blessing – Yearning – fall 2001
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A nurse took the tired, anxious serviceman to the bedside. "Your son is here," she said to the old man. She had to repeat the words several times before the patient's eyes opened.
Heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack, he dimly saw the young uniformed Marine standing outside the oxygen tent. He reached out his hand. The Marine wrapped his toughened fingers around the old man's limp ones, squeezing a message of love and encouragement.
The nurse brought a chair so that the Marine could sit beside the bed. All through the night the young Marine sat there in the poorly lighted ward, holding the old man's hand and offering him words of love and strength. Occasionally, the nurse suggested that the Marine move away and rest awhile.
He refused. Whenever the nurse came into the ward, the Marine was oblivious of her and of the night noises of the hospital - the clanking of the oxygen tank, the laughter of the night staff members exchanging greetings, the cries, and moans of the other patients.
Now and then, she heard him say a few gentle words. The dying man said nothing, only held tightly to his son all through the night.
Along towards dawn, the old man died. The Marine released the now lifeless hand he had been holding and went to tell the nurse. While she did what she had to do, he waited.
Finally, she returned. She started to offer words of sympathy, but the Marine interrupted her. "Who was that man?" he asked.
The nurse was startled, "He was your father," she answered.
"No, he wasn't," the Marine replied. "I never saw him before in my life."
"Then why didn't you say something when I took you to him?"
"I knew right away there had been a mistake, but I also knew he needed his son, and his son just wasn't here.
When I realized that he was too sick to tell whether or not I was his son, knowing how much he needed me, I stayed. I came here tonight to find a Mr. William Grey. His son was killed in Iraq today, and I was sent to inform him. What was this gentleman's name?”
The Nurse with tears in her eyes answered, “Mr. William Grey..."
The next time someone needs you...just be there. Stay.
REMEMBER: We are not human beings going through a temporary spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings going through a temporary human experience.
Heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack, he dimly saw the young uniformed Marine standing outside the oxygen tent. He reached out his hand. The Marine wrapped his toughened fingers around the old man's limp ones, squeezing a message of love and encouragement.
The nurse brought a chair so that the Marine could sit beside the bed. All through the night the young Marine sat there in the poorly lighted ward, holding the old man's hand and offering him words of love and strength. Occasionally, the nurse suggested that the Marine move away and rest awhile.
He refused. Whenever the nurse came into the ward, the Marine was oblivious of her and of the night noises of the hospital - the clanking of the oxygen tank, the laughter of the night staff members exchanging greetings, the cries, and moans of the other patients.
Now and then, she heard him say a few gentle words. The dying man said nothing, only held tightly to his son all through the night.
Along towards dawn, the old man died. The Marine released the now lifeless hand he had been holding and went to tell the nurse. While she did what she had to do, he waited.
Finally, she returned. She started to offer words of sympathy, but the Marine interrupted her. "Who was that man?" he asked.
The nurse was startled, "He was your father," she answered.
"No, he wasn't," the Marine replied. "I never saw him before in my life."
"Then why didn't you say something when I took you to him?"
"I knew right away there had been a mistake, but I also knew he needed his son, and his son just wasn't here.
When I realized that he was too sick to tell whether or not I was his son, knowing how much he needed me, I stayed. I came here tonight to find a Mr. William Grey. His son was killed in Iraq today, and I was sent to inform him. What was this gentleman's name?”
The Nurse with tears in her eyes answered, “Mr. William Grey..."
The next time someone needs you...just be there. Stay.
REMEMBER: We are not human beings going through a temporary spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings going through a temporary human experience.
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Some of you may not know that I fell assumed I was alright, walked on a broken hip for 8 days, tossed and turned until I fell out of bed, landed on my hip again, and finally had surgery on Thursday, April 7th. Because of that, I have not written something especially for my blog. However, as I lay in the hospital recuperating all I could think about was that “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up,” commercial that features a senior citizen like me. So please journey back with me to yesteryear and read “I Never Thought I’d Become,” the memoir of the girl I was and the woman I became. As you read I hope you will remember Jeremiah 29:11 where it says, “For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” When you get to the end of this posting ask God to tell you which of the Ten Commandments you found hidden within the words, email your answer to me through the blog and I will post the names of those who sighted the correct scripture.
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The 50’s were a time when girls seemed to grow up emulating their moms. Because my mom pressured me to be like her, I thought I’d never become the person I wanted to be. I knew that being an authentic individual was not the norm. And according to my mom, I was far from normal. Knowing she disapproved of me left a hole in my heart. All I wanted was to be was to be loved for who I was and whom I would become. And I was. But not by the woman I needed love from. For me love came in special packages labeled grandma and great aunt. Nowhere was there a package of love labeled mom.
Mom was the woman whose house I slept in and from whose house I escaped every morning when I ran next-door to spend the day with grandma. I was certain that mom would have treated me better if she weren’t worried about my baby brother who’d been born sickly and seemed to worsen everyday. As altruistic as I wish I could have been, her concerns took a back seat to my need for love, which grandma and my aunt met. My days were filled with grandma’s love, my nights with my aunt’s who shared a bedroom with me.
Whenever mom found fault with me, I would remember the unconditional love they lavished upon me. Where my mom did not seem to understand me and wanted me to be a miniature version of her, their love helped me believe that my life was as close to perfect as possible.
When I was seven, that illusion shattered. My aunt married and grandpa bought a home which was hours away from us. The day they moved I cried so hard I couldn’t say goodbye to my grandma. I remember waving as I turned, and entered mom’s house. I walked to my room, thought about school ending in a few weeks and wondered what summer would be like now. During dinner, I discovered it would be far worse than all the school years of my short life put together. The principal had told mom that I would be held back since I hadn’t learned much during my years of school.
It took a trip to the ophthalmologist’s office, a pair of glasses, and a summer with a retired schoolteacher who taught me every shortcut she knew, for me to pass the proficiency test.
The first day of that new school year is as fresh in my memory today as it was the day I lived it. Mom drove us to school and parked the car in front of the main building. I saw large block letters on its façade and read, “Thomas Jefferson Elementary School,” for the first time.
When school ended, mom picked us up and drove us home. Upon entering the house, she called me into her bedroom and took a book titled, “Why Johnny Can’t Read” from her bedside table. “We won’t need this any more,” she said nodding in my direction. Her message was easy to understand. I was to become what she wanted and give her no more grief or create another situation where she had to visit the principal’s office.
I was certain life couldn’t get any worse. But, I soon discovered that I was wrong. Dad told us we were going to move to another city. It was hours from where we lived and further away from the women whose love had succored me. His job required that he travel but he was certain we could manage without him. Aware that I was going to be alone with mom who viewed me as my brother’s keeper, I became fearful.
My angst motivated me to learn. By the time, I graduated the seventh grade I was on the honor role and remained an honor student throughout my school years. However, I felt a fraud since I didn’t learn anything. Rather I memorized everything as a hedge against failure.
At home, I struggled to be subservient to my mother’s wishes: an unhappy, plump version of her, whom she reviled whenever the feeling hit her.
After graduation, I searched for myself through a series of jobs. A year later, I met and fell in love with a man who loved me. He envisioned a future for me where I could grow into the person I was desperately trying to become. I grabbed hold of him and all he promised.
I entered Beauty College; grateful for the money my aunt had left me, which allowed me a future of my own choosing. For 18 months, I toiled away, aware that I was sacrificing a comfortable life for a life worth living.
The date of my Cosmetology State Board test drew near and so did my wedding. Mom had tried to dictate every aspect of my nuptials. My fiancé interceded and I walked down the aisle in the white wedding gown I had chosen, rather than the off-white suit mom had insisted would do. From the moment, I spoke my vows and my husband affirmed his, I felt loved and free to be me.
Our first years were spent settling down, beginning a family, and growing together. When my thirtieth birthday drew near, I thought mom and I had achieved a sort of stasis in our relationship. That illusion proved false when I entered college. Mom had urged women to go to college. Yet, she seemed angered by my attending and vented her feelings, alternating between accolades and putdowns. As painful as this was, I was buoyed up by the fun of actually learning, my husband’s support, and our daughter’s encouragement. I was becoming an authentic me.
When I look back, I remember many were eager to hear about everything I was learning but it was mom who prodded me for more information. She’d bait me with a question, hoping I would say something she could take umbrage with, and then she’d pounce. Since attending college gave me information that she did not have, I believe she felt one-upped by me.
However, by the time I had completed half of my studies, what she thought didn’t matter. I had fallen in love with learning. And, the girl who couldn’t read was working at the tutorial center with students who had learning disabilities and a few like me, who feared failure.
Before I graduated, I began working with women who had experienced abuse in childhood. I helped them see, as I had, that everything makes us what we are. We are over-comers!
And mom…as the years passed, her life took a turn towards senior dementia. Because her demands affected my dad, my husband and I moved them close and spent as much time with them as we could.
On one particularly difficult day, dad was pulling their car into its assigned parking spot when mom yelled, “You’re parking in the wrong place!” Her arms flailed at him as she screamed horrible things.
I put my hand on her shoulder.
She patted it and calmed down.
Then I said, “It’s really hard being you.”
She looked at me and smiled. “Now you understand.”
From then on, I uttered those words whenever the need arose. They reminded her that I understood her. That as hard as I had fought to become me, I knew it was time for me to pay attention to her.
Several years later dad died and mom was diagnosed with cancer. She was in constant pain. As the end of her life drew near, she sternly forbid me to visit. I knew she wanted me to remember her at her best. It was hard not saying goodbye to mom but I acquiesced to her wishes.
When she died, I knew that we had come to understand, forgive and enjoy each other. Yet, I felt a sense of loss for the mother she hadn’t been. I was, however, finally at peace with the woman she was.
After the memorial, stories shared, and pictures viewed, my brother and I found a quite place and talked.
“You know what mom called you?” he asked.
I shrugged.
“She called you a saint…Saint Paula.”
Being a Jewish believer in Messiah (Christ) I believed this was the final, unwanted, but not totally expected putdown.
“And here’s why…” He enumerated what she meant. I listened as he shared all she had seen and never commented on. When I thought he was done, I began to rise. Then he added, “She said she admired your wanting to be yourself even when she tried to stop you.”
When I look back on becoming the person I wanted to be, I realize we never fully understand who we want to be until we see who we don’t want to become. Each of us faces the choice, to self-actualize or not. In the process of becoming me, I fashioned a life I could truly call my own…thanks to my mom.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The 50’s were a time when girls seemed to grow up emulating their moms. Because my mom pressured me to be like her, I thought I’d never become the person I wanted to be. I knew that being an authentic individual was not the norm. And according to my mom, I was far from normal. Knowing she disapproved of me left a hole in my heart. All I wanted was to be was to be loved for who I was and whom I would become. And I was. But not by the woman I needed love from. For me love came in special packages labeled grandma and great aunt. Nowhere was there a package of love labeled mom.
Mom was the woman whose house I slept in and from whose house I escaped every morning when I ran next-door to spend the day with grandma. I was certain that mom would have treated me better if she weren’t worried about my baby brother who’d been born sickly and seemed to worsen everyday. As altruistic as I wish I could have been, her concerns took a back seat to my need for love, which grandma and my aunt met. My days were filled with grandma’s love, my nights with my aunt’s who shared a bedroom with me.
Whenever mom found fault with me, I would remember the unconditional love they lavished upon me. Where my mom did not seem to understand me and wanted me to be a miniature version of her, their love helped me believe that my life was as close to perfect as possible.
When I was seven, that illusion shattered. My aunt married and grandpa bought a home which was hours away from us. The day they moved I cried so hard I couldn’t say goodbye to my grandma. I remember waving as I turned, and entered mom’s house. I walked to my room, thought about school ending in a few weeks and wondered what summer would be like now. During dinner, I discovered it would be far worse than all the school years of my short life put together. The principal had told mom that I would be held back since I hadn’t learned much during my years of school.
It took a trip to the ophthalmologist’s office, a pair of glasses, and a summer with a retired schoolteacher who taught me every shortcut she knew, for me to pass the proficiency test.
The first day of that new school year is as fresh in my memory today as it was the day I lived it. Mom drove us to school and parked the car in front of the main building. I saw large block letters on its façade and read, “Thomas Jefferson Elementary School,” for the first time.
When school ended, mom picked us up and drove us home. Upon entering the house, she called me into her bedroom and took a book titled, “Why Johnny Can’t Read” from her bedside table. “We won’t need this any more,” she said nodding in my direction. Her message was easy to understand. I was to become what she wanted and give her no more grief or create another situation where she had to visit the principal’s office.
I was certain life couldn’t get any worse. But, I soon discovered that I was wrong. Dad told us we were going to move to another city. It was hours from where we lived and further away from the women whose love had succored me. His job required that he travel but he was certain we could manage without him. Aware that I was going to be alone with mom who viewed me as my brother’s keeper, I became fearful.
My angst motivated me to learn. By the time, I graduated the seventh grade I was on the honor role and remained an honor student throughout my school years. However, I felt a fraud since I didn’t learn anything. Rather I memorized everything as a hedge against failure.
At home, I struggled to be subservient to my mother’s wishes: an unhappy, plump version of her, whom she reviled whenever the feeling hit her.
After graduation, I searched for myself through a series of jobs. A year later, I met and fell in love with a man who loved me. He envisioned a future for me where I could grow into the person I was desperately trying to become. I grabbed hold of him and all he promised.
I entered Beauty College; grateful for the money my aunt had left me, which allowed me a future of my own choosing. For 18 months, I toiled away, aware that I was sacrificing a comfortable life for a life worth living.
The date of my Cosmetology State Board test drew near and so did my wedding. Mom had tried to dictate every aspect of my nuptials. My fiancé interceded and I walked down the aisle in the white wedding gown I had chosen, rather than the off-white suit mom had insisted would do. From the moment, I spoke my vows and my husband affirmed his, I felt loved and free to be me.
Our first years were spent settling down, beginning a family, and growing together. When my thirtieth birthday drew near, I thought mom and I had achieved a sort of stasis in our relationship. That illusion proved false when I entered college. Mom had urged women to go to college. Yet, she seemed angered by my attending and vented her feelings, alternating between accolades and putdowns. As painful as this was, I was buoyed up by the fun of actually learning, my husband’s support, and our daughter’s encouragement. I was becoming an authentic me.
When I look back, I remember many were eager to hear about everything I was learning but it was mom who prodded me for more information. She’d bait me with a question, hoping I would say something she could take umbrage with, and then she’d pounce. Since attending college gave me information that she did not have, I believe she felt one-upped by me.
However, by the time I had completed half of my studies, what she thought didn’t matter. I had fallen in love with learning. And, the girl who couldn’t read was working at the tutorial center with students who had learning disabilities and a few like me, who feared failure.
Before I graduated, I began working with women who had experienced abuse in childhood. I helped them see, as I had, that everything makes us what we are. We are over-comers!
And mom…as the years passed, her life took a turn towards senior dementia. Because her demands affected my dad, my husband and I moved them close and spent as much time with them as we could.
On one particularly difficult day, dad was pulling their car into its assigned parking spot when mom yelled, “You’re parking in the wrong place!” Her arms flailed at him as she screamed horrible things.
I put my hand on her shoulder.
She patted it and calmed down.
Then I said, “It’s really hard being you.”
She looked at me and smiled. “Now you understand.”
From then on, I uttered those words whenever the need arose. They reminded her that I understood her. That as hard as I had fought to become me, I knew it was time for me to pay attention to her.
Several years later dad died and mom was diagnosed with cancer. She was in constant pain. As the end of her life drew near, she sternly forbid me to visit. I knew she wanted me to remember her at her best. It was hard not saying goodbye to mom but I acquiesced to her wishes.
When she died, I knew that we had come to understand, forgive and enjoy each other. Yet, I felt a sense of loss for the mother she hadn’t been. I was, however, finally at peace with the woman she was.
After the memorial, stories shared, and pictures viewed, my brother and I found a quite place and talked.
“You know what mom called you?” he asked.
I shrugged.
“She called you a saint…Saint Paula.”
Being a Jewish believer in Messiah (Christ) I believed this was the final, unwanted, but not totally expected putdown.
“And here’s why…” He enumerated what she meant. I listened as he shared all she had seen and never commented on. When I thought he was done, I began to rise. Then he added, “She said she admired your wanting to be yourself even when she tried to stop you.”
When I look back on becoming the person I wanted to be, I realize we never fully understand who we want to be until we see who we don’t want to become. Each of us faces the choice, to self-actualize or not. In the process of becoming me, I fashioned a life I could truly call my own…thanks to my mom.
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When I meet Jessie Lemus at the MJAA Conference, I heard about the Battalion of Deborah and remembered the piece I had written about Deborah in 2008 while meditating on scripture. Since I had her email, I contacted her and asked if the Battalion which consists of women committed to Israel’s biblical boundaries, would like to use it. She received it with joy. Although I do not know how they will use this prayer, God seemed to ask me to share it with you. Enjoy…
Scripture: “Barak said to her, “if you go with me, I will go; but if you do not go with me, I will not go.” Very well,” Devorah said, “I will go with you. But because of the way you are going about this, the honor will not be yours, for the Lord will hand Siser over to a woman.” (Judges 4:8-9) In reply, Jesus declared, “I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again,” (John 3:3)
What were you thinking my sister, my kinswoman? How did you come to feel comfortable with the task laid before you? I know that you were a woman of prayer, one that was called by God Most High. If I could have been there would I have heard your petition which is, I think, founded on the same questions all of us women pray when we are asked by God to step out of our normal roles and assume a mantel that is unique? If so I believe that your prayer might have sounded something like this:
“Oh God why have you chosen me for this work,
I am as a seed of wheat,
Not yet ripe for the harvest,
Yet you call!
Oh God why have you asked me to lead men,
I am as one unprepared for war,
Not schooled in weapons and fighting,
Yet you call!
Oh God why have you asked me to bear the burdens of the nation Yisrael,
I am as one of the least of your people,
Not wise in my own understanding,
Yet you call!”
“Daughter, it is because you see yourself as nothing,”
Saying, 'I am as a seed of wheat,
Not yet ripe for the harvest,'
That I call!
Daughter, it is because you see yourself as one unprepared for war,
That I ask you to equip my people with righteousness and send them out with prayer,
For there is no weapon fashioned against my righteous ones that will stand,
That I call!
Daughter, it is because you see yourself as a seeker of the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob,
Because you have an undivided heart that yearns for and reaches up to me,
Saying “What is God’s will in this matter,
That I call.
Many are ready for leadership in the world’s sight,
Many are prepared to do things in their own way,
Many believe they have a burden to serve but will leave when the battle turns against them,
But few truly know how to seek after me with all their mind, all their heart and all their soul.
That is why I have chosen you,
For you have chosen to abide in me,
I have chosen you to be a standard to my people,
an example of selfless devotion to their God.
That in seeing your selfless devotion to me,
They may also come to know Adoni-Jireh,
The Lord that will provide today,
Then, they will learn to search for my provision tomorrow.
For just as I had my servant Moses lift up the serpent in the desert,
That all who looked upon it in faith would not die,
Even though they had been bitten by a deadly snake,
My people must learn to look at those I have lifted up and not judge them,
But see me!”
“This I understand Lord Most High,
This, I Devorah, pledge to do and this will I sing about,
And give glory to your name for you chose a servant not a warrior,
That your name would and will be forever proclaimed!”
“Yes, and in the future that is yet to be another comes that is greater that he,
Greater than Moses who I led through the red sea,
Greater then any who have walked the earth,
for this is the Messiah who will herald in the rebirth."
“My Lord, I do not understand for I am not wise,
However, if you will it,
I will pray for those who will hear it,
that you open up their eyes.”
Oh Devorah did you know, as I think all the righteous do, that life is fleeting and there is more to us than the here and now? If so, may I, and all that follow after be as wise as you were. Wise enough to know our wisdom is as nothing before the throne of God Most High. Yet, wise enough to know that what we say and do matters both here and now and ripples throughout eternity. May God grant us all a modicum of understanding and a heart that is melded to His, least we fall into Satan snare and become ineffectual for all who care to hear and heed the message of the Lord and His Messiah!
Scripture: “Barak said to her, “if you go with me, I will go; but if you do not go with me, I will not go.” Very well,” Devorah said, “I will go with you. But because of the way you are going about this, the honor will not be yours, for the Lord will hand Siser over to a woman.” (Judges 4:8-9) In reply, Jesus declared, “I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again,” (John 3:3)
What were you thinking my sister, my kinswoman? How did you come to feel comfortable with the task laid before you? I know that you were a woman of prayer, one that was called by God Most High. If I could have been there would I have heard your petition which is, I think, founded on the same questions all of us women pray when we are asked by God to step out of our normal roles and assume a mantel that is unique? If so I believe that your prayer might have sounded something like this:
“Oh God why have you chosen me for this work,
I am as a seed of wheat,
Not yet ripe for the harvest,
Yet you call!
Oh God why have you asked me to lead men,
I am as one unprepared for war,
Not schooled in weapons and fighting,
Yet you call!
Oh God why have you asked me to bear the burdens of the nation Yisrael,
I am as one of the least of your people,
Not wise in my own understanding,
Yet you call!”
“Daughter, it is because you see yourself as nothing,”
Saying, 'I am as a seed of wheat,
Not yet ripe for the harvest,'
That I call!
Daughter, it is because you see yourself as one unprepared for war,
That I ask you to equip my people with righteousness and send them out with prayer,
For there is no weapon fashioned against my righteous ones that will stand,
That I call!
Daughter, it is because you see yourself as a seeker of the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob,
Because you have an undivided heart that yearns for and reaches up to me,
Saying “What is God’s will in this matter,
That I call.
Many are ready for leadership in the world’s sight,
Many are prepared to do things in their own way,
Many believe they have a burden to serve but will leave when the battle turns against them,
But few truly know how to seek after me with all their mind, all their heart and all their soul.
That is why I have chosen you,
For you have chosen to abide in me,
I have chosen you to be a standard to my people,
an example of selfless devotion to their God.
That in seeing your selfless devotion to me,
They may also come to know Adoni-Jireh,
The Lord that will provide today,
Then, they will learn to search for my provision tomorrow.
For just as I had my servant Moses lift up the serpent in the desert,
That all who looked upon it in faith would not die,
Even though they had been bitten by a deadly snake,
My people must learn to look at those I have lifted up and not judge them,
But see me!”
“This I understand Lord Most High,
This, I Devorah, pledge to do and this will I sing about,
And give glory to your name for you chose a servant not a warrior,
That your name would and will be forever proclaimed!”
“Yes, and in the future that is yet to be another comes that is greater that he,
Greater than Moses who I led through the red sea,
Greater then any who have walked the earth,
for this is the Messiah who will herald in the rebirth."
“My Lord, I do not understand for I am not wise,
However, if you will it,
I will pray for those who will hear it,
that you open up their eyes.”
Oh Devorah did you know, as I think all the righteous do, that life is fleeting and there is more to us than the here and now? If so, may I, and all that follow after be as wise as you were. Wise enough to know our wisdom is as nothing before the throne of God Most High. Yet, wise enough to know that what we say and do matters both here and now and ripples throughout eternity. May God grant us all a modicum of understanding and a heart that is melded to His, least we fall into Satan snare and become ineffectual for all who care to hear and heed the message of the Lord and His Messiah!
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Romans 12: 1 “Therefore, I urge you...in light of God’s mercy, to offer your body’s as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God.”
O God my rock and my redeemer there is no one like you. No one who understands me as you do. You know that my desire is to please you and yet I am unable to do so without the guidance of the Ruach Ha Kodesh... your Holy Spirit. Remind me, therefore, O Lord to walk close to you. For I am as a young child who at times wanders from away you—the only one who knows what is best for me. But where can I go and what can I do without your guidance? What can I accomplish that has merit in your sight or value for eternity unless I stay close to you?
When I was a young child, I ventureed out to explore my world so that I could eventually become a separate and distinct person. However, my relationship with you is the antithesis of this. In order to present myself to you a sacrifice that is worthy and pleasing, I have learned to seek you first and keep you close to me throughout my day. My hunger to become a worthy disciple of yours has allowed me to break though my own desire to be an island unto myself. I admit that I need your presence in my life moment by moment in a way I never needed anyone else.
Although I am aware that I have the freedom to choose to spend time with you early in the quite hours of the morning, or not, each day I have to chose whether I want to be a living sacrifice for you or to sacrifice my life upon the altar of some other god who is not God at all. Thank you, Ha Shem for calling me to spend time with you this morning. I know that by putting you first in all that I do I will not waste this day storing up treasure that does not last and creating a life that has no significance but is full of wasted potential.
O God my rock and my redeemer there is no one like you. No one who understands me as you do. You know that my desire is to please you and yet I am unable to do so without the guidance of the Ruach Ha Kodesh... your Holy Spirit. Remind me, therefore, O Lord to walk close to you. For I am as a young child who at times wanders from away you—the only one who knows what is best for me. But where can I go and what can I do without your guidance? What can I accomplish that has merit in your sight or value for eternity unless I stay close to you?
When I was a young child, I ventureed out to explore my world so that I could eventually become a separate and distinct person. However, my relationship with you is the antithesis of this. In order to present myself to you a sacrifice that is worthy and pleasing, I have learned to seek you first and keep you close to me throughout my day. My hunger to become a worthy disciple of yours has allowed me to break though my own desire to be an island unto myself. I admit that I need your presence in my life moment by moment in a way I never needed anyone else.
Although I am aware that I have the freedom to choose to spend time with you early in the quite hours of the morning, or not, each day I have to chose whether I want to be a living sacrifice for you or to sacrifice my life upon the altar of some other god who is not God at all. Thank you, Ha Shem for calling me to spend time with you this morning. I know that by putting you first in all that I do I will not waste this day storing up treasure that does not last and creating a life that has no significance but is full of wasted potential.
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Paula’s Note…
Several weeks ago my friend Diana sent me this write up about a book that made a difference. Since she had sent me, two write ups I posted her “Little Engine that Could” piece and save this one for later. Little did I realize then the wisdom of doing that, in fact it wasn’t until I opened this short response that I realized how gracious God is for He prepares us for the unexpected with missives which in their due season He uses to minister His love through others. After you read what Diana wrote, I will explain what I mean. For now, be blessed…
From Diana…
I had little guidance in my life as far as life skills. I was pretty miserable feeling like I was taking one step forward and two steps backward. I had been married about 10 years when a career councilor recommend I read "Feeling Good" by Dr.'s Mernith & Meier. It’s a book about changing yourself though cognitive therapy. More easily put. You determine what is not working for you, where it came from, what you do with it and replace it with some thing that does work for you. This challenging book put a method to things I did that drug me down and made difficulties. I didn't change instantly, unfortunately, but I realized so many things I wanted to change that as I worked on them one at a time I began to free myself. It felt really good. Others noticed a change right away. Some thought it was good, others reacted negatively. This is a process. From time to time I read it just to discover more and encourage myself about how far I've come. I had to buy a new copy because I "loved" it so much.
Paula’s Note…
I love that Diana amended the title to read “And that is not being selfish.” If you are wondering why--and who wouldn’t, it’s because we believers are continually asking ourselves the “Am I being selfish,” question. We seem to want to beat ourselves up as if walking in the truth of Messiah means that we deny what we need. For example, today was a red-letter day for me because I had been waiting to get my editors comments and suggestions. Since I had sent Casa de Naomi – Yearning in the end of October, I was eager to begin working on the text! However, imagine my surprise when I discovered, upon reading her email that after all her work she would not be able to bring the novel to fruition because she was moving closer to her family. At first, I felt disappointed since I was certain this was the editor I was to work with. Then I was worried for her since no one leaves a job their good at and moves close to family unless there is a need. Finally I had to admit that underneath all these concerns I could hear the “Why me,” whine which as a believer I have come to loath. I tried to force that idea away but it would not leave so taking it in as I knew I must I realized that I wasn’t being selfish…I was being human. And being human no matter how much we wish to be like Christ, informs us of the human state from which we, if aware, can minister to others.
I’d like to say that I overcame the lethargy that descended upon me. Yet it was not I that overcame…The Spirit did!
So if you, like me or my friend Diana think your being selfish, think again and remember that if the Lord reinstated John so He could be used how much more will He do through those of us who admit our shortcomings and allow Him it use us…
Several weeks ago my friend Diana sent me this write up about a book that made a difference. Since she had sent me, two write ups I posted her “Little Engine that Could” piece and save this one for later. Little did I realize then the wisdom of doing that, in fact it wasn’t until I opened this short response that I realized how gracious God is for He prepares us for the unexpected with missives which in their due season He uses to minister His love through others. After you read what Diana wrote, I will explain what I mean. For now, be blessed…
From Diana…
I had little guidance in my life as far as life skills. I was pretty miserable feeling like I was taking one step forward and two steps backward. I had been married about 10 years when a career councilor recommend I read "Feeling Good" by Dr.'s Mernith & Meier. It’s a book about changing yourself though cognitive therapy. More easily put. You determine what is not working for you, where it came from, what you do with it and replace it with some thing that does work for you. This challenging book put a method to things I did that drug me down and made difficulties. I didn't change instantly, unfortunately, but I realized so many things I wanted to change that as I worked on them one at a time I began to free myself. It felt really good. Others noticed a change right away. Some thought it was good, others reacted negatively. This is a process. From time to time I read it just to discover more and encourage myself about how far I've come. I had to buy a new copy because I "loved" it so much.
Paula’s Note…
I love that Diana amended the title to read “And that is not being selfish.” If you are wondering why--and who wouldn’t, it’s because we believers are continually asking ourselves the “Am I being selfish,” question. We seem to want to beat ourselves up as if walking in the truth of Messiah means that we deny what we need. For example, today was a red-letter day for me because I had been waiting to get my editors comments and suggestions. Since I had sent Casa de Naomi – Yearning in the end of October, I was eager to begin working on the text! However, imagine my surprise when I discovered, upon reading her email that after all her work she would not be able to bring the novel to fruition because she was moving closer to her family. At first, I felt disappointed since I was certain this was the editor I was to work with. Then I was worried for her since no one leaves a job their good at and moves close to family unless there is a need. Finally I had to admit that underneath all these concerns I could hear the “Why me,” whine which as a believer I have come to loath. I tried to force that idea away but it would not leave so taking it in as I knew I must I realized that I wasn’t being selfish…I was being human. And being human no matter how much we wish to be like Christ, informs us of the human state from which we, if aware, can minister to others.
I’d like to say that I overcame the lethargy that descended upon me. Yet it was not I that overcame…The Spirit did!
So if you, like me or my friend Diana think your being selfish, think again and remember that if the Lord reinstated John so He could be used how much more will He do through those of us who admit our shortcomings and allow Him it use us…
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Let us remember Proverbs 15:29 and stand firm with our believing brothers and sisters in Christ, united in prayer each day for one minute. Our God is listening.
Someone has said that if Christians really understood the full extent of the power we have available through prayer we might be speechless. Did you know that during WWII there was an advisor to Churchill who organized a group of people who dropped what they were doing every day at a prescribed hour for one minute to collectively pray for the safety of England, its people and peace?
There is now a group of people organizing the same thing here in America. If you would like to participate: Every evening at 9:00 PM Eastern Time, 8:00 PM Central, 7:00 PM Mountain, 6:00 PM Pacific, stop whatever you are doing and spend one minute praying for the safety of the United States, our troops, our citizens, and for a return to a Godly nation. If you know anyone else who would like to participate, and are concerned about giving out their email address please ask them to visit this site and join so that we can support each other through the email available here. Remember, our prayers are the most powerful asset we have. Please forward this to your praying friends.
Someone has said that if Christians really understood the full extent of the power we have available through prayer we might be speechless. Did you know that during WWII there was an advisor to Churchill who organized a group of people who dropped what they were doing every day at a prescribed hour for one minute to collectively pray for the safety of England, its people and peace?
There is now a group of people organizing the same thing here in America. If you would like to participate: Every evening at 9:00 PM Eastern Time, 8:00 PM Central, 7:00 PM Mountain, 6:00 PM Pacific, stop whatever you are doing and spend one minute praying for the safety of the United States, our troops, our citizens, and for a return to a Godly nation. If you know anyone else who would like to participate, and are concerned about giving out their email address please ask them to visit this site and join so that we can support each other through the email available here. Remember, our prayers are the most powerful asset we have. Please forward this to your praying friends.
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